Jude Says

Okay so it's been a while. 

It may be a while again. 

I decided that it might be a good idea to write down all the funny things Jude says here since I am "here" all the time, or a lot of the time. Online that is. For the past year I have been writing them down in Jude's TODAY book, but it is easy to slack on that since he is saying longer and longer sentences and because it takes a million years to write longhand and by the time I finish writing it or get around to it, he has already said something else. Anyway, the idea is to keep both going.

October 6, 2009

So, tonight at a family friends house for bathies: Big beautiful spa tub. All well. Clean Jude.He stays in the tub so he can watch the water swirling down the drain, so he can say "night night Labeaux!" (water). Studies the transaction between gravity and water. The sound here is different somehow, richer, deeper than the tub at home. "Bath fart," he states. 

Yes, that must be it.

Tonight in his bed: "Mama sleep high"

I curl up beside him on the mattress. We are face-to-face, breathing in tandem.

"No Mama nose! Mama move nose! Mama sleep down there."

I return to the body pillow perched beside his bed.

"Mama sleep high."

And so it goes.

JUDE WALKS!!!

HOOORAY!

JUDE DISCOVERS POPSICLES!

JUDE ENJOYS FINE LITERATURE DURING A DIAPER CHANGE WITH AUNTIE JEN!

JUDE CONTEMPLATES WHAT MIGHT BE FOR EEEEEEEEEATIES!

Fangs a'comin...

Hi Jude,

I couldn't resist sharing this because I think it is so ding-dang cute. You earned .65 cents in your savings account over three months. Can you stand it?

Also, you are getting in your fang teeth and it is giving you much trouble. But soon it will be all done.

Finally, a few Halloween pics. We took you around the 'hood, introduced you and us around and you scored us some wonderful treats. They kept asking. "does he like Peanut M+M's?" and we were like, "oh yes, he just loooooooves Peanut M+Ms!" So thanks for the treats Jude. Next year you'll be chomping on your own candy and we'll be begging you for a bite or two...

Love, Mommy

More Ninny Mama

Oh honey, you are not happy tonight. Screaming at the top of your lungs, hiccuping, having yourself a real tantrum. It hurts so much to hear. Dad just went in to see you after an hour or so of this. Not sure what in the world is a matter... The nights I don't blog I suppose you go down pretty easily, but are usually up again anywhere between 12 and 6, lately 12. We can see that you are teething again, your front teeth, but that doesn't seem to be what is causing you to scream and cry. What does seem to be making you scream and cry is just being away from us in your crib. Dad said you were like a cat yowling to come in (or go out, in CC's case) because you just cry and cry until you finally give in and fall asleep.

We just don't know what to do sometimes. We want you to be happy and feel safe and sleepy and go to the wonderful world of magical dreams and look at your star light and drift off like so many of your baby friends. We wonder what we are doing wrong, what we can do better. Dad is standing over your crib, telling you it is okay. You quiet down a bit and then you start crying again... perhaps I should go see if it is ninny you need again. Oh, here you come....

15 minutes later: Sometimes you just need a little more ninny before you are ready for bed. And I can never resist that. Especially when your face is all red with sadness, your eyes all puffed out with tears... Lately it seems you are ninnying down at night mostly for comfort more than hunger. But that's okay by me. Did I ever tell you the "more ninny mama" story? Well, turns out your great grandpa, Zayde Norman was nursing one his mom when he was about your age, or maybe closer to a year and half old when his mom suddenly pulled you off her boob. After realizing what happened he looked at her and spoke his first words: "MORE NINNY MAMMA!" Makes me wonder if those will be your first words....

You are doing a lot of: dadadadaddddddddddiiiiidddddddidididididididididi

You are pullin up to stand on just about everything you can, including me and dad.

You are teaching me so much about life and love and what it really means to be alive. You are reminding me that what's important in life is all right here in this house. You are reminding me that when I look down at your little face with your little nose and your little lips smacking away after a good feeding, eyes peacefully closed, that looking at you, watching you, is as close to peace and enlightenment, all those things I long for, that I will ever come and that maybe I am already there. I know it doesn't get much better than that. I will see (and have seen) so many amazing things in life and I think that instead of thinking about what is the next most amazing thing i will do or see i must remember that I needn't go far for that.

Now you sleep and all is peaceful at Ming's of Clinton. Love, love, love, Mommy

I should be doing this everyday...

Hi Jude,

You are struggling again tonight, but now is a silent moment. It is 9:10 and we are usually putting you to bed around 8:30 which seems to be working, but lately you have been up and down. Last night we had to pull you out several times before nursing you down for a third time, I think. Anyway, you are quiet now which means I am going to sign off. This blog seems to always do the trick---eventually. Oh, what I should be doing everyday is writing down what time you go to bed and when you get up siince it all seems to run together.

Other news: You are pulling up to stand, using me or dad or the "pen." You are teething again, you poor angel. You are just delightful and a darling and we love you so much. More later... Love, Mommy xoxoxoxo

Here we go again...

Okay Jude, Tonight we are going on a half hour of you struggling to get to sleep. It seems the only thing I can do to handle it aside from going in there is to write about it. You had such a busy day today: you played with Baby D for several hours. You two were so cute and are really starting to know each other. You made your "aaaaaaaaaah aaaaaaaaaah aaaaaaaaaah aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah" sounds at each other for a while, sort of like dogs sniffing each other out, before making contact. Super cute.

But now, oh now, the pain of now... you are writhing and crying and so so tired. We are so close to going in... you were so happy all day... what happened? Oh, the sobs rumble on... they remind me of tumble weeds bouncing along a deserted hilly place in a windstorm. For a moment you are quiet, taking a break. Dad and I decided we are going to go in there at 9:15 if you do not let up. We figure we will check your diaper. Still quiet... usually when you get quiet this long it is a good sign... usually we have faith in the quiet, it usually means you have found... oh no! There you go again. A little hiccup. A bark. A whine. So sorry little one, Okay, we have ten more minutes before we go in. Not sure what's happening when you get quiet and why you start up again. We were having so much faith in the quiet. It was becoming a rhythm, a calmness, whereas now it is looking like the calm before the storm.

So a funny thing happened today. D's grandmom asked me if you sleep in the "marital bed". I guess she had a few thigns to say about Baby D sharing the bed with the parents. Unheard of, she said. "Does he have a crib at least?" Yes, but I of course said you do, yes, at least a few hours a night, sometimes more sleep in our bed. Just depends on when you get up in the night, which is usually between 2 and 6. Oh, honey, you are crying and crying. The anxiety wells and gurgles... 6 minutes more. I wonder what can be making you so unhappy? A wet diaper? An empty tummy? Can't be. You at so much at dinner: two bowls of apple sauce, one bowl of sweet potatoes with yogurt, one bowl of bananas with yogurt. What's up little one? Okay... 4 more minutes before we go in and offer you comfort. Oh Jude this is so hard! Okay, another moment of silence. Nope. Brokesn. More wailing. It's like you can't decide what to do, sleep or cry. Well, you know where our vote goes. Sometimes I feel so very tired and sleep deprived (like now) that the emotions and sensations become even more physcially synesthetic than usual. Okay, more quiet. Let's see: is this the same more bluff? It is 9:13. What's it going to be? This is interesting because on any other night I would just assume you are asleep but since you are having such a hard time lately, stopping and starting, etc, I cannot put my faith in that silence. I wonder if that is the consequence of being raised with no God. Seriously. I wonder if my lack of "faith" in certain things results from having no belief system whilst growing up. No that I am complaining. I am wonderfully happy here as a Bu-Jew (tell you about that later), but now you are being still quiet. Oh, Jude... it's now 9:16. You have been quiet for 3 minutes. Is this it? Dad says he guess he knew you had a deadline. Okay, that means I can stop writing and go to bed. What if (and this is kind of Stephen King-ish) I had to blog everytime you didn't fall asleep or else you would never sleep? Meaning WE would never sleep.

Okay, back to faith. Of course the real explanation for lack of faith could be the fact that my mom let me cry it out to sleep from day one. Okay Jude, so at least we waited to you were seven months. Hopefully that was enough months for you to build a little faith in your padres and the world...

Okay, it's 9:22. I'm going to go out on a limb and say you're sleeping. Sweet dreams, little one. Mommy eyes ya, daddy eyes ya, CC and Elton eyes ya and everyone under the sun eyes ya. xoxoxoxo

Getting Our Zzzzzzzzzzzzzs!

Dearest Jude,

Well, you are on your third night of falling asleep on your own! After the last post when we let you cry it out, we tried again last night and it only took you about ten minutes to fall asleep. Tonight: same thing. I fed you, we put you in the crib, and then I hopped in the shower and by the time I got out, all was quiet. We are so proud of you. That and of course we are thrilled not to be struggling with you hour after hour each night, when all you wanted to do was go to sleep. Everyone kept saying, "he's overtired, he just needs to sleep" and we were like "well, yeah, but he needs to sleep if he needs sleep." The problem was we were just picking you up immediately everytime you showed any kind of distress and then you got so used to it. "They" say that we are doing the right thing by letting you teach yourself to fall asleep on your own as long as we reassure you that we are here for you, not going anywhere, etc, and I believe it! We all really were in great need of more sleep. So relief! And yes, thank you Jude, we aer getting more sleep. You are such a doll.

Today we had fun in our ECFE class. I realized in a moment of clarity why I love the other people in the class so much: they are my age! The other classes I have taken were with 20 and young 30 somethings, which while not a huge difference in human years, makes a lot of difference in the world of raising baby years.

You are still using the pacifier. 'raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! Shocking, still. What's cute is that you seem to enjoy playing with it first, scrutinizing it, almost as if to figure out how it works, before putting it in your mouth. You do that a lot, it seems--try to figure out how things work, which you get from dad, not me.

Last night after dad fed you yogurt and applesauce, you started doing a bunch of consants, among them "da da da da da da da da da deeee, " which was all too cute.


You have a few new breastfeeding developments: In addition to squeezing the milk out of the boob while you are eating--to the point where milk goes all over your face when you pull off--you have recently taken to pinching the opposite nipple while eating off the other. I guess this correlates with that pincer grip deal they say you will be getting right about now, but I was thinking more along the lines of say, a grape.

Dad and I are eating popcorn for dinner. We had every intention to have vegie burgers, but when dad fried them up they tasted awful. The bad news is that I didn't realize they were so awful until i was almost done with my first half. I apologize in advance if the milk is a little off tomorrow...

Sweet dreams, chipatta, xoxoxoxo Mommy