More Ninny Mama

Oh honey, you are not happy tonight. Screaming at the top of your lungs, hiccuping, having yourself a real tantrum. It hurts so much to hear. Dad just went in to see you after an hour or so of this. Not sure what in the world is a matter... The nights I don't blog I suppose you go down pretty easily, but are usually up again anywhere between 12 and 6, lately 12. We can see that you are teething again, your front teeth, but that doesn't seem to be what is causing you to scream and cry. What does seem to be making you scream and cry is just being away from us in your crib. Dad said you were like a cat yowling to come in (or go out, in CC's case) because you just cry and cry until you finally give in and fall asleep.

We just don't know what to do sometimes. We want you to be happy and feel safe and sleepy and go to the wonderful world of magical dreams and look at your star light and drift off like so many of your baby friends. We wonder what we are doing wrong, what we can do better. Dad is standing over your crib, telling you it is okay. You quiet down a bit and then you start crying again... perhaps I should go see if it is ninny you need again. Oh, here you come....

15 minutes later: Sometimes you just need a little more ninny before you are ready for bed. And I can never resist that. Especially when your face is all red with sadness, your eyes all puffed out with tears... Lately it seems you are ninnying down at night mostly for comfort more than hunger. But that's okay by me. Did I ever tell you the "more ninny mama" story? Well, turns out your great grandpa, Zayde Norman was nursing one his mom when he was about your age, or maybe closer to a year and half old when his mom suddenly pulled you off her boob. After realizing what happened he looked at her and spoke his first words: "MORE NINNY MAMMA!" Makes me wonder if those will be your first words....

You are doing a lot of: dadadadaddddddddddiiiiidddddddidididididididididi

You are pullin up to stand on just about everything you can, including me and dad.

You are teaching me so much about life and love and what it really means to be alive. You are reminding me that what's important in life is all right here in this house. You are reminding me that when I look down at your little face with your little nose and your little lips smacking away after a good feeding, eyes peacefully closed, that looking at you, watching you, is as close to peace and enlightenment, all those things I long for, that I will ever come and that maybe I am already there. I know it doesn't get much better than that. I will see (and have seen) so many amazing things in life and I think that instead of thinking about what is the next most amazing thing i will do or see i must remember that I needn't go far for that.

Now you sleep and all is peaceful at Ming's of Clinton. Love, love, love, Mommy